SpongeBob : I'm sick, Patrick. I'm going to the doctor.
Patrick : What? Oh no, you can't go!
SpongeBob : Why not?
Patrick : I know a guy who knows a guy who went to the doctor, and the doctor's office is a horrible, horrible place.
SpongeBob : It can't be as horrible as the suds.
[Sneezes]
Patrick : Oh, it is, SpongeBob. First, they make you sit in a... waiting room!
SpongeBob : Is that the horrible part?
Patrick : No, it gets worse. They make you read... old magazines!
[SpongeBob shrieks]
Patrick : Then the doctor pulls out his stethoscope.
SpongeBob : No!
Patrick : Yes! It's a device so sinister, so icy cold when it touches your bare flesh that... Pssh!
SpongeBob : Aaah! No doctor! No stethoscope! No magazines! No Pssh! Patrick, I don't want to go to the doctor.
Patrick : Exactly.